


Grace

by Bunnie24



Category: The Following
Genre: Baby, Family, Fatherhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-03-18 06:56:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3560333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunnie24/pseuds/Bunnie24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small vignette of the first time Mike Weston held his daughter after being born prematurely by two and a half months.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I might write some more of these. They're cute, easy...and make me feel warm and fuzzy. But I'm not 100% sure yet.

 

            There was something inside of him that wouldn't stop making him shake; perhaps it was the anxious feeling in his stomach, or the excitement in the air as he followed the nurse into the Neonatal room.

            The nurse turned back to Mike as he slowly inched towards the tiny incubator "You ready?" she asked with a smile.

            Mike just nodded, standing perfectly still as he watched the nurse open the tiny door before turning to Mike once again "You can have a seat in that chair." she suggested before turning back to the incubator.

            The young agent turned, finding a rocking chair not too far from the incubator which he slowly took a seat in as he watched the nurse gentle grab a hold of something and position it carefully in her arms.

            "Alright, dad..." she said, looking down at her arms as she walked towards Mike where he saw the tiny human in her arms.

            Mike lost all motions of an outside world as the nurse reached him, guiding him in how to hold his child as she handed her off to him.

            He lost his breath as he saw her for the first time, holding her in his arms and she looked so tiny against his giant hands--he couldn't help but choke up as he admired Grace, his daughter of 5 weeks that was born two and a half months premature.

            "Hi, Gracie..." he whispered, the lump in his throat getting bigger as he examined her.

            She was so beautiful--looking so much like her mother as she rested in his arms with her eyes closed; her lips slightly pouted as if she were about to cry as he looked her over and admired everything about it.

            Mike smiled at her lips that were clearly his and her nose that was Sarah's...he sighed at the thin blonde hair forming on her head when she lightly squirmed in his arms, cooing before beginning to open her eyes slowly.

            He watched in bated breath as Grace showed her blue eyes to him, looking deep into his soul as she let a labored breath out while Mike began to tear up; the lump in his throat cleared out and he tried not to let a tear out.

            Grace let out another noise, looking up at Mike as she continued to move in his arms slightly--almost trying to escape her blankets when she cuddled closer to her father, managing to let one arm lose as she gently reached out and grabbed a hold of the teeth of his leather jacket.

            They stared at each other for a moment, Mike in awe of Grace before she began to look around and behind her father before looking at him once again, her lip began to quiver before she let out a cry.

            She began to squirm, almost fighting Mike as he began to panic--he wasn't sure what to do with the crying newborn as he began to look around for a nurse who paced back to him with a bottle.

            "She's just hungry, it's okay." the nurse soothed, handing him the bottle "Do you want to give it a try?" she asked him.

            Mike nodded as the nurse put the bottle on the table, showing Mike how to hold Grace upright with his hand supporting her head and gave him the bottle and instructed him on how to hold the bottle.

            He was cautious with the bottle as Grace let another cry out, her eyes open wide enough to see Mike with the bottle as she opened her mouth wide and waited for him to feed her.

            Mike couldn't help but coo, gently putting the bottle nipple in her mouth and watched her to go town on the formula inside it "Hungry little one, aren't you?" he cooed quietly, smiling at Grace.

            She made eyes at him, staring at him with her big blue ones--Mike wasn't sure if she was staring because of this telekinetic bond between father and daughter, or if Grace just liked to stare at the individual who was feeding her; either way, he enjoyed looking at her.

            "There you go." he whispered, smiling as he watched Grace drink half of the formula before turning her head again to indicate that she was done.

            Mike nodded to himself "Done?" he asked in a baby voice--trying to remain calm and level with Grace as to not indicate the fear that was in his body.

            He turned to the nurse "So, how do I burp her?" he asked.

            The nurse smiled, helping Mike reposition Grace in prepping to burp her "Pat her back, gently--but not too gently." she indicted, showing Mike at first before letting him give her a couple of pats, assuring him that he was doing it right.

            Mike smiled, slowly learning the ways of being a parent, a father--he couldn't believe it either and he honestly didn't feel like one what with his daughter in a ventilator, unable to be touched, or carried, or even held by him.

            He watched her as he held her tiny body in his one hand--patting her back and rubbing it to see if he could manage anything out of her _"...I'm kinda curious about her burping skills."_ he thought to himself.

            He watched Grace's tiny hands as they reached out for nothing, she cooed and made random noises as he burped her when he looked up at the nurse again "Does she have a beanie or something?" he asked her.

            The nurse nodded "Yes." she said with a smile, turning around to walk towards the incubator and retrieve the pink and blue striped hat "She doesn't like wearing it--she keeps managing to pull it off." she informed Mike, who smirked at the thought.

            "Well, let me see what I can do." he said, motioning for the nurse to put the beanie on the table so he could finish with his burping.

            Mike patted and patted some more, waiting for something to arise and was about to give up when he felt something warm touch his hand and then slide down it; Mike looked down to see Grace has spit up, to which he immediately reacted with a gasp.

            "Uh-oh..." he muttered in his baby voice, wiping the goop on the blanket and gently wiping up her face before resuming burping to which she surprised him with an ambitious burp.

            Mike smiled, looking up at the nurse "Do I keep going, or is it a one burp type thing?" he asked her.

            The nurse smiled "I think she's good." she remarked, watching Mike as he gently repositioned her in his arms before reaching out for the beanie.

            "Okay, Ms. Stubborn, lets put on your hat." he muttered, using his free hand to put the pink beanie back on his daughters' head, to which Grace immediately protested as she began to cry.

            Mike pouted "Oh, sweetie...trust me on this one." he cooed at her as he watched her cry, her tiny hand reaching up and over her head as if to reach for it.

            The young agent watched, knowing that there was no use in him trying to soothe her; if he remembered correctly, his sister-in-law always mentioned something about 'just having to let babies cry', maybe this was a prime example.

            In his moment of thought, his felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket, alarming him back to reality as he carefully reached in and grabbed his phone before shifting his phone over to answer the call.

            "This is Weston." Mike answered.

            "Mike, where the hell are you?" Ryan asked with a slightly annoyed tone to his voice.

            Mike winced as he looked down at Grace, watching her delicately pull off her beanie before dropping it on the floor before huffed "Gracie," he muttered in disapproval.

            "What?" Ryan asked on the other end of the phone.

            Mike sighed "I'm with Grace," he responded "...she got to leave the incubator and so I'm holding my daughter right now."

            He could hear Ryan slightly coo on the phone "Mike, that's great!...but we need you, we're about to raid that dealer in about two hours and you're the only one with extensive knowledge about the case." he remarked.

            Mike couldn't help but let a frown, watching Grace as she stopped crying and began to look around the room once again "Okay, I'll be there in about twenty minutes." he said before hanging up the phone and placing it back in his pocket.

            "Okay, baby girl, daddy has to go back to work," he said, slowly getting up from his seat "Your daddy has to go get the bad guy," he continued on "But as soon as I'm done, I'm gonna come back and hold you, and squeeze you, and name you George..." he cooed, gently bouncing Grace as he walked back to the incubator.

            The nurse smiled, reaching out for Grace when Mike stopped and looked at the nurse "Is it okay if I kiss her goodbye?" he asked.

            "Of course!" she responded.

            Mike nodded, leaning down to kiss Grace's forehead before kissing her cheek "I love you, Gracie." he muttered, getting choked up once again as he gently passed her off to the nurse, watching her put his daughter back in the incubator before he began to back away and leave the NICU.

            He wasn't going to lie, it was a good moment for him--he got to finally see Grace, and bond with her if only for a few minutes.

            Mike couldn't wait to get her home and show her off to everyone; in fact, he couldn't wait to tell Ryan all about her when he got back to work.


	2. Aunt Anna and Grandma Harriet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace and Mike get a visit from Sarah's sister and mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I'll write more of these. But not in any particular order.

 

            He hurried the naked baby to the changing table in her nursery as he continued to dry her with the towel before placing her on the changing table.

            "Alright, Ms. Bug, Aunt Anna and Grandma are coming over today--and if you don't look fucking adorable, they're gonna be on me like white on rice." Mike remarked, giving Grace one good pat down before exposing her tiny naked body to him.

            Mike didn't waste any time, putting a diaper on the tiny baby before walking away for a moment to get an outfit set up--only to find two that he couldn't choose between.

            He huffed, turning back to Grace who made faces at the ceiling as she cooed to herself "Okay, Gracie..." he muttered, trying to decide between the two outfits.

            "Do we want pink bunnies, or yellow ducks?" Mike asked, almost talking to himself as he showed both outfits to Grace, who seemed interested in neither outfit.

            Mike huffed again "I don't think you're taking this seriously..." he grumbled to Grace, who managed out a smile.

            "Or...maybe your daddy is going crazy...just like Uncle Ryan said he would." he muttered, looking at both outfits and sighed "...pink bunnies..." he decided, tossing the other outfit aside and got Grace dressed.

            Grace didn't fight her father as he dressed her in the outfit of pink bunnies, humming to himself when he finally got everything situated and positioned her upright to get a good look at her outfit.

            Mike adjusted her clothes, pulling them down so they were bunched around her neck before he laid her back down and went to grab a head band to complete the outfits.

            "Alright, Grace..." he muttered, slowly putting the headband on when Grace immediately began to cry, using all her lung capacity to inform her father that she did not like the headband.

            Mike huffed "Gracie!" he complained, taking the headband off and tossed it aside, waiting for the newborn to stop crying.

            Grace looked up at him with her blue eyes, her eyes still watery but her cries halted when her father let out another huff "Are you _ever_ going to be okay with me putting stuff on your head??? I mean--Uncle Ryan and Grandma, and everybody bought you these cute little hats and headbands that I _really_ want to use on you, sweet pea." he remarked to the unborn.

            The baby just stared at him, giving him a look that reminded him so much of Sarah that it frustrated him "You're just like your mother sometimes, you know that?" he asked rhetorically before picking Grace up and heading downstairs.

            It wasn't a second sooner as he put one foot down from the stairs that the front door blasted open and two loud voice echoed throughout as they made their way down the hallway.

            The noises frightened Grace as she began to slightly squirm and cry again as Mike met the intruders half way, who could have given any less consideration when they saw him.

            "Hello, Michael..." Harriet remarked as she gave him a begrudging look.

            Mike forced a smile out "Harriet."

            The younger woman standing next to his baby mama's mother was Anna, Sarah's younger sister who had a softer look on her face than her mother.

            Anna cooed as she slowly walked towards Mike, looking at the 10-week old baby as he held her securely in his arms.

            "She looks so much like Sarah," Anna observed, looking up at Mike "But she has your eyes...they're so pretty." she continued on.

            Though, Mike wasn't a fan of Sarah's smothering family, he had to admit that it was easier to work with Anna than it was Harriet--who couldn't stand the fact that she didn't have custody of her granddaughter as her daughter served her now 4 and a half year stint in prison.

            Mike smile sincerely and nodded "Thank you. I just...I can't believe it, y'know? I made this." he told Anna, who nodded in agreement.

            "Yeah, it's quite strange when you become a parent. You've got this tiny little pink thing that depends on you ever second of every day--but you love it." Anna remarked.

            Mike continued to smile "Yeah, I never realized I could fall in love with someone I just met." he muttered, looking down at Grace as she began to doze off in his arms.

            "Can I hold her?" Anna asked.

            Mike looked up from his daze, nodding at Anna "Yeah." he said, gently passing his daughter off to her aunt when he began to get paranoid.

            "Be careful." he muttered, watching Anna adjust Grace in her arms.

            "I've got her." Anna assured him, looking down at Grace as she rocked her in her arms "Well, look at you." Anna cooed, Harriet joining her as the two ladies cooed together.

            Mike sighed heavily "Do you guys want to sit down?" he asked them.

            They didn't bother looking up as they both began to shuffle their ways towards the living room before gently sitting down on the couch with Grace, leaving Mike behind as he lagged behind.

            Mike watched as the women sat on his couch, Anna gently passing Grace off to Harriet who, in Mike's opinion, held her just a bit too tight as she cooed "So, Michael, have you gone to see Sarah?" she asked point black.

            The young man felt a kick in his abdomen at the mention of Sarah--he tried not to think about her and what she had done to him, or the fact that she was the main culprit behind him being a father now; but Harriet likes to torture him, if only in hopes of caving in to her demands and wishes.

            Mike swallowed hard after a moment "No." he muttered.

            Harriet hummed at him "Well, I really feel like you should, if just for Grace's sake. She deserves to see her mother." she snarled.

            Mike couldn't help but role his eyes "Harriet, thanks for the suggestion, but Sarah and I have our own arrangement." he remarked back to her.

            Harriet finally looked up at him, smirking her usual bitchy smirk before humming again "Oh, and what is that? Pretend that she doesn't exist? Continue living your life with the daughter the _both_ of you created without her?" she hissed at him.

            "It's none of your business." Mike snarled back at her, trying to remain calm in front of Grace.

            Harriet huffed "Very well then." she complained, looking back down at Grace who was still sleeping.

            Anna sighed as she looked up at Mike, both of them staring at each other while having a silent conversation before she turned back to Grace just in time to see her wake up from her micro-nap.

            Both women looked down and cooed at the baby, only to be stopped once Grace realized that the individual wasn't her father and began to cry, her defense mechanism for stranger danger.

            Mike sighed, walking towards the women as Harriet tried to calm her down to no avail when she put her hand up in protest as Mike finally reached them "I've got this, Michael. I've dealt with this before...she just needs to cry it out." she recommended.           

            He rolled his eyes at her "Uh, no." he projected, leaning down and gently grasping his daughter about from the hellish woman holding her.

            Mike smiled and cooed at Grace, getting her attention and listening to her cries subside as he bounced her in his arms; Mike looked up at a clock in the kitchen before looking down at Grace "It's time for dinner." he said in a baby voice, continuing to bounce Grace as he made his way into kitchen.

            He didn't care if Harriet and Anna followed behind him; for all he cared, they couldn't get up and leave yet he wouldn't even bat an eye lash at them.

            But, unfortunately, his wishes were not granted as he heard footsteps enter the kitchen as he attempted to prep a bottle for her.

            "So...you just feed her formula?" Anna asked him softly.

            Mike nodded, not even glancing at them "Yep."

            "Is Sarah not allowed to give breast milk to you?" Anna asked on.

            Mike shrugged "Honestly, we never really talked about it. But, when she was born, we were so focused on if Grace was going to make it or not, it didn't even matter." he said, turning to her.

            Anna nodded to herself "I bet she's wish she'd had that conversation." she said with a light chuckle.

            Mike continued to bounce Grace, warming up the bottle as he watched the younger sister stand across from him; he had honestly never gotten a good look at Anna--seeing the obvious similarities to Sarah that made him want to punch _her_ in the face before kissing her passionately.

            "She's fine...by the way." Anna muttered, hugging herself gently "Not that you asked, or probably even care." she continued on, looking down at her shoes.

            It was awkward for a time, Mike finally finishing up the bottle as he began to feed Grace as Anna watched on, smiling gently at the moment.

            "I don't resent you," Anna finally said bluntly, catching Mike off guard as he looked up at Anna and cocked an eye brow.

            Anna sighed "What you did. I don't resent you for it. You did what you had to do." she told him, looking him straight in the eye "...I'm pretty sure it was probably one of the hardest things you had to do...not that I'm trying to tell you how to feel or anything." she said.

            Mike nodded slowly at Anna "It was." he muttered.

            Anna began to tear up "It's..." she couldn't finish her sentence "...it's just so hard, finding out someone you loved so much being something else." she confided.

            "...but I go and see her and it's amazing to me that she went through that...that she let _all_ that happen." Anna continued on, looking away from Mike "She's kind of a badass when you think about it."

            Mike knew that Anna didn't understand, he knew that she could never comprehend who her sister hung around with and what she did to other people, but he let it go--looking back down at Grace as she drank as quickly as she could.

            "Slow down, babe." he told Grace, pulling the bottle back and lifting Grace up enough to where she wouldn't immediately spit up her dinner.

            Anna smiled "You're so good with her." she complimented.

            Mike smiled back at her "I'd like to think so." he said, cooing at Grace a moment before chuckling at himself "...I'd like to think that's she's smart for a baby. Like, she knows what's up." he admitted out loud.

            "Oh, yeah?" Anna asked, now sitting on a counter top.

            Mike nodded "Yeah. Like this one time, right before I had to go back to work, I had taken her to the headquarters and my boss called me away to do something really quick and so I left Ryan in charge of her...and you know how it is: mommy or daddy disappear with a stranger around and they tend to panic...but not with Ryan." he said, watching Grace take a few more chugs from the bottle before turning her tiny head away.

            "But then, apparently...Ryan was making funny faces at her and her eyes were wide open, and she just looked at him like 'are you kidding me right now?'. I come and she looks like he had just told her a dark family secret and she wasn't sure how to take it." he continued with a chuckle.

            Anna laughed "Babies are weird like that sometimes..." she remarked, watching Mike get ready to burp her when she attempted to interject, only to have Harriet walk into the room.

            "Michael, why don't you have any baby lotion in the house!?" Harriet accused.

            Mike glared at Harriet "Cause she's allergic to it." he said bluntly.

            Harriet rolled her eyes at him "Michael, you _have_ to have something for her!" she demanded.

            "And I do! I've goggled so many home remedies that work just fine for her." Mike remarked coldly, repositioning Grace as he began to burp her.

            Harriet huffed "No--no, you're doing it wrong!" she claimed, taking Grace away from Mike and beginning to burp her in a completely different manner.

            Mike was ready to punch her, tired of Harriet implying that he was a terrible father--he was certain that _she_ never had to tend to a premature newborn as he glared at her, ready to kill her with any of the kitchen knives when the most miraculous thing happened.

            Harriet gasped as Grace projectile vomited on her grandmother, almost giving payback for treating her father with such disrespect.

            " _That's my girl._ " Mike thought to himself, watching Harriet complain as Anna hastefully took Grace from her arms while Mike pretended to care as he got her a wash rag.

            "Oh my god--she's never done that before." he said, in a truthful yet sarcastic tone as he attempted to help her out before Harriet grabbed the dish rag from Mike and glared at him.

            The two shared a glance for a moment, Mike hiding a smile within his eyes before smirking slightly "You should go to the bathroom and clean your shirt. Down the hall, to the left." he indicated.

            There was silent as Harriet huffed, leaving the kitchen where Anna and Mike attempted to hide smiles from one another "Oh my god." Anna said before laughing.

            Mike chuckled along, walking up to her and looked at Grace who stared at the two adults in the room. "See? Smart." he told Anna.

           

              


	3. First Doctor's Visit

 

            It was her first doctors visit, and yet all Mike could do as he rocked Grace in her car seat with his foot was make sure that all the other children kept their distance with their germs and what-nots.  
            Mike sighed, keeping his eyes glued to Grace as she slept in the car seat that practically ate her as she sucked on her pacifier, totally unaware of the world around her.

            He couldn't help but smile as he watched her, still in awe even after weeks of having her at home, he couldn't believe he had created this tiny person that he just wanted to hug and kiss and smother with love.

            Mike could sense someone watching him as he finally looked up from his gaze to find the woman sitting two seats down from him cooing at Grace, he caught her eye before she blushed slightly and chuckled to herself.

            "I'm sorry," she muttered "She's precious." the woman commented.

            Mike smiled as he nodded "Thanks, I think so too."

            The woman smiled "Y'know, you don't see a lot of dads in here, usually it's mom and baby."

            Mike just nodded, not sure how to take the comment as the woman cleared her throat "Where is mom?" she asked, almost cooing at Grace as Mike turned back to her.

            "Oh, umm...she's...no longer with us." he eased in, not wanting to lie but not wanting to be completely honest either.

            The woman lost her good feeling, the corners of her mouth falling "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry." she said.

            Mike shook his head "No, it's okay..." he said, looking back down at Grace for a moment.

            "It must be hard, going at it alone." the woman suggested.

            Mike shrugged, sitting back in his chair "Yeah, but I've got help, everyone is always ready to pitch in." he remarked.

            Meanwhile, while Mike was having the conversation, he subconsciously stopped rocking Grace, which she took notice of as she awoke from her slumber, threatening to cry as she whimpered and released her pacifier from her mouth, letting it drop onto her chest.

            It immediately got Mike's attention, his head swiftly turned to Grace to see her mouth pouting and her face getting red from frustration as he pouted in return, leaning forward to reach her.

            "Oh, sweetheart." he muttered, grabbing the pacifier and placing it back in her mouth before using his foot to rock her back to sleep.

            "She's finicky..." he described to the woman "A bit of a diva." he said with a chuckle before turning back to the woman who continued to smile at him.

            Mike sighed "But she's got me wrapped around her finger, and she knows it..." he continued on, wanting to start another conversation with the woman before the door into the doctor's office opened and the nurse called Grace's name.

            "It was nice meeting you." Mike remarked, grabbing the car seat and diaper bag from the seat next to him and followed the nurse inside and into a examination room where Mike gingerly placed the car seat on the examination table.

            It seemed like forever, Mike waiting with Grace for the doctor to arrive when finally there came a gentle knock and the door opened.

            "Good Morning." the woman said with a smile "I'm Doctor Finn, you must be Mr. Weston..." she said, extending her hand out to shake his as Mike stood up from his seat.

            "Mike." he introduced himself as he shook the doctor's hand.

            The doctor continued to smile "And this must be Grace." she said enthusiastically, looking into the car seat to find Grace still sleeping.

            Mike smiled as he watched the doctor play with her toes gently before turning to him again "Okay, I'm gonna start by weighing and measuring her." she informed Mike who stood awkwardly in place.

            The doctor smiled "It's okay, I actually prefer if you're hands on, just to keep her calm." she instructed, moving aside to let Mike inch towards Grace's car seat and release her from it's monster grasp, waking her up in the process.

            Mike smiled at Grace, who didn't try to fight her sleepiness as she drifted back to sleep as quickly as she awoke while Mike gently laid her on the examination table.

            "Okay, if you just want to move her over here," she motioned to the scale to which Mike nodded and picked Grace up again and moved her across the room, carefully placing her on the scale which turned by her weight.

            Mike took a step back, letting the doctor record her weight before pulling a tape measurer out and pulled it along Grace's tiny frame "12.5 inches," she trailed off, smiling at Mike.

            "Is that a good...'size'...for her?" Mike asked.

            The doctor opened her mouth to speak, then closed it, then thought for a moment "With preemies, there's no real 'good' size, since each case is different, but she seems to be healthy." she said with a nod.

            Mike nodded, backing away slowly as the doctor turned back to Grace "Okay, I'm gonna measure the circumference of her head, so she might get a little cranky." she advised, adjusting Grace's head to wrap the measuring tape around her to which the newborn immediately awoke and cried out.

            The doctor pouted, getting a reading before taking the tape away from her head and looked down at Grace "Aww, Gracie." she pouted, taking a step back and looked at Mike "Okay, back to the table we go!" she said, giving Mike enough room to take Grace and move her.

            Mike looked down and pouted at her "Gracie, shh..." he soothed as he moved her, laying her down on the examination table and began to make funny faces at her before realizing that something was missing.

            "Where's her..." he trailed off, looking behind him to the scale then on the floor, looking for Grace's binky that he couldn't believe he lost sight of; he turned back to the car seat, seeing that it had fallen inside of it which put the new father at ease as he pulled it out and looked down at Grace who had calmed herself for the moment.

            The doctor smiled "Okay, I'm gonna perform the exam now, do you mind undressing her?" she asked.

            Mike nodded, putting the binky down and began to unclip Grace's onesie, smiling and using his baby voice to keep her calm as he knew the cold air on her skin would make her nervous (as it always did when he changed her diaper), it was then at that moment he turned to the doctor.

            "Just the clothes, or everything?" he asked.

            The doctor nodded "Everything." she instructed.

            Mike hummed "Okay, then." he said, turning back to Grace as he began to undress his daughter entirely, smiling at her and giving her funny faces before he stripped her completely naked and laid her on the table.

            The doctor smiled as Mike stood at the edge of the table, pulling the car seat as well as the binky off the table to give her enough space to examine.

            Mike watched the doctor as she examined every inch of his daughter from her head down to her tiny toes--and though the young agent knew that Grace was in good hands, he couldn't help but want to remain close to make sure Doctor Finn didn't hurt her.

            The doctor finally turned to Mike and smiled "Okay, she looks good..." she stated, nodding at Mike "How are her feeding habits?" she asked, backing away from Grace so Mike could redress her.

            "Umm...she eats every hour and a half to two hours. I only fill her bottle with formula half way and sometimes she'll drink half of it, sometimes she'll drink all of it...other times, she'll take two sips and decide she's done!" Mike explained, nodding to himself as he put a new diaper on Grace.

            The doctor nodded "Okay, well, you're feeding her pretty regularly, which is good! Sometimes, babies just aren't hungry, which is okay too...so don't feel like you have to force her to eat if she doesn't really feel like it." she recommended.

            "How is she sleeping? Is she sleeping on her back? Stomach?" she asked.

            Mike snapped her onesie back on before picking her up to hold her "She sleeps...a lot." he chuckled as he looked down at her "Obviously." he muttered.

            "But seriously, she cat naps throughout the day, maybe 3 hours at a time every so often. But she's getting roughly 6 hours of sleep a night before she wakes up for a feeding or diaper change or what-have-you. I've got her sleeping on her back." Mike continued on.

            The doctor wrote notes in the file, Mike turned around to sit in the chair next to the examination table as he gently rocked Grace, casually looking down at her to see if she was awake or not.

            "How are her bowel movements?"

            Mike stopped to think about that one for a moment "She poops regularly, I guess."

            The doctor smiled "Describe them."

            Mike was taken aback for a moment, really thinking about the question "Yellow, soft...ish..."

            The doctor nodded, writing the notes down in the file as she took a seat in her roll chair "And does she respond to your voice?"

            The young agent didn't need to think twice as he nodded "Yes. She looks at me and responds to me, the best she can anyway..."

            "Does it soothe her?" the doctor asks.

            "Sometimes, not all the time." Mike informed her.

            The doctor nodded "And she makes noise when she's awake?"

            Mike smiled as he looked down at Grace "All the time."

            The doctor continued to write down notes "And how much tummy time are you giving her?" she asked.

            Mike scrunched his eyes in confusion "Tummy time?" he asked.

            The doctor nodded "Yes. Time during the day when she's awake for her to be on her stomach."

            Mike shook his head slowly "I'm...not...giving her...tummy ti--I'm a terrible father!" he proclaimed, looking down at Grace.

            The doctor shook her head, letting a soft smile out "No--no, you're not! It's okay. But, do start tummy time; it'll help her learn how to use those little muscles for things like pushing up, head control, rolling over...it'll help her start learning how to crawl. I know she's tiny, but tummy time helps development." she instructed.

            Mike nodded slowly "Okay, I'll do that." he muttered.

            The doctor smiled "It's okay. You're fine!" she assured him.

            The two adults looked at each other for a moment before Dr. Finn sighed "Is she fussy in the evening? Like, when it's close to bedtime?" she asked Mike.

            Mike thought for a moment "Yes and no...it depends on the day, and what's going on, and who's over at the house that day." he responded.

            The doctor nodded, taking the note down before clearing her throat "One more question: how are you doing, dad?" she asked him.

            Mike was taken aback by the question "How am _I_ doing?" he asked with a chuckle.

            Dr. Finn nodded "Yeah, how has life been with Grace around? Are you sleeping? Eating? Experiencing any Depression? Mood swings? Stuff like that?" she asked him.

            Mike blushed "I am...not sleeping very well, honestly--I just, I'm so afraid of her..." he trailed off for a moment.

            "It's okay." Dr. Finn assured him.

            Mike sighed "I don't want to leave her alone, ever. Her mom, she's incarcerated; so it's just me...I mean, I have help--but...I'm all she has, and I don't want to fail her."   

            "Have you been experiencing any elevations of stress?" she asked Mike.

            Mike nodded slowly "Yes. But not because of Grace, directly...I'm the youngest of 4 sons, and so my family tends to smother, mom's family does too. But Grace doesn't bring me any stress..." Mike told the doctor.

            "...except for when she wakes me up at 2 in the morning!" he finished with a chuckle, looking down at Grace.

            The doctor chuckled as he watched Mike with Grace "Do you have any questions for me?" she asked Mike.

            Mike looked up, nodding as he sighed "She doesn't like wearing hats or bands around her head...do you think it's because it hurts her, or...?" he trailed off waiting for an answer.

            "I felt her skull and everything seems to be coming together just find, I mean--I can't see _why_ putting a hat on her or a little bow band would hurt her. I think she's just fussy that way." the doctor assured Mike.

            Mike nodded "Okay, then." he said, looking down at Grace for a moment "And I can find information about tummy time online or in the baby books?" he asked.

            Dr. Finn smiled "Yes. And if you ever have any questions about anything whether it is tummy time, or her feedings, or anything, don't hesitate to call me! Being a new parent is rough enough, but being a single parent--well, my hat goes off to you!" she soothed Mike.

            Mike smiled as he looked at the doctor, nodding to himself "Thank you."

            "You're very welcome!" Dr. Finn smiled at him, before standing up "I want to see her again in 4 weeks, just another check up...give some shots." she informed Mike.

            Mike winced at the word 'shots', looking down at Grace "My poor baby." he muttered before slowly standing up, taking one hand from under Grace to shake the doctor's hand and say goodbye.

            He slowly put Grace in her car seat, watching her sleep as he got everything ready to leave; he was relieved, getting so much information and assurance that he wasn't fucking up as a father too badly.

            "...tummy time..." he muttered to himself as he threw the diaper bag over his shoulder and picked up Grace in her car seat, heading home once again.

            


	4. Hiccups

 

 

            He rocked her back and forth, waiting for her to fall asleep so he could curl into a ball and die on his bed.

            It had been a rough evening for Mike and Grace, he had taken her to the emergency room a little after dinner time only to be told after an hour of waiting that Grace’s predicament was ‘just hiccups’.

            Mike looked down at Grace, soothing her with a song from his teenage years as he continued to rock her, hoping that she’d give in and go to sleep.

            “ _…you’ve got me wrapped around your finger; do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger?_ ” he sang softly, watching Grace fight her sleepiness.

            Mike huffed “Gracie, it’s okay—go to sleep, sweet pea.” He whispered to her as she fought with her eyes to stay open before finally, after much fighting on both their parts, her eyes closed and she quickly fell asleep.

            The young agent sighed with relief, gently placing Grace in her crib before backing out slowly and turned out the light and walked down the hall to his bedroom, falling face first into his bed and attempted to climb up to his pillow.

            Mike let out a frustrated grunt into the soft, fluffy surface, wanting to punch something when his cell phone began to vibrate against his night table.

            “Noooo!!!” Mike muttered, reaching out for his phone to see who was calling: Ryan.

            He huffed as he answered the call “Hello.”

            “Hey, how is she? Is she okay?” Ryan asked almost in a rush.

            Mike huffed as he rolled over onto his back “Yeah, she’s fine. Apparently, she just had hiccups.” He informed Ryan in a rather annoyed tone.

            “Hiccups?” Ryan asked.

            "Yeah. But I swear to god, Ryan, they didn't sound like any hiccups I'd heard before." Mike admitted to his friend, tearing up from frustration.

            Ryan grumbled "Well, at least she's okay..."

            The two men went silent for a moment, Ryan waiting for Mike to say something while Mike waited for Ryan to say something--the silence was awkward.

            "...are you okay?" Ryan finally asked.

            Mike laid back in his bed, shaking his head as he let a tear fall from his eye "No..." he muttered.

            "I wish Sarah was here." Mike admitted.

            Mike could heard Ryan scuff on the other end of the phone "No, you don't. You're just having a bad go of things tonight!" he tried to convince him.

            The young agent shook his head "No...no, she'd know what to do, what to say...keep me calm..." he explained.

            He could hear Ryan huffing on the other end of the phone "You've got this." Ryan told him, trying to give him a pep talk through the phone.

            "No. I don't. I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't ever put her down cause I'm afraid that something will happen to her, I feed her too often so she never starves! I check her diaper every 30 minutes to make sure she's comfortable--maybe, maybe Harriett was right, maybe I'm not cut out to be a dad." Mike began to self-deprecate, he began to doubt and wonder if maybe everyone was right.

            Ryan huffed "No! No! NO! Do _not_ let that bitch get inside your head!" he argued "Mike--nobody's perfect! You were concerned about your daughter, you made a decision--you can't beat yourself up because you wasted an hour and $200." he said.

            Mike huffed, letting Ryan's words sink in before he opened his mouth so speak before the loud echo of crying came from down the hall from Grace.

            "Damnit, Ryan--I got to call you back." Mike said, not giving his friend a chance to speak as he hung up and crawled out of bed and walked along the hall into Grace's room.

            He turned on the light and looked down in the crib as Grace continued to cry profusely, Mike couldn't help but grimace as he leaned into the crib and retrieved his daughter whose crying subsided almost instantly.

            The baby looked at her father, her eyes still teary as Mike looked back at her and huffed, not saying a word as he walked out of the nursery with Grace in his arms, turning off the light as he left.

            Mike rocked Grace as he walked back into his bedroom, walking to the corner where the bassinet was and took one arm from underneath Grace and pulled it towards his bed before he sat on it.

            The young agent rocked his daughter for a moment before taking Grace and rested her on his comforter before he slowly laid next to her--fighting his urge to fall asleep as he watched Grace as she looked at him with her blue eyes.

            Mike watched her as she did, moving her lips as if trying to talk but nothing coming out as he huffed and rubbed his eyes "Gracie," he said "Daddy wants to go to bed...which means you have to go to bed." he said to the newborn.

            A coo came from his daughter as he looked back at her while contemplating the pros and cons of just falling asleep right there on the comforter--though the cons outweighed the pros as Mike sat up on his comforter and sighed heavily from exhaustion.

            Mike didn't think twice as he scooped Grace up into his arms and moved her from his comforter and into the bassinet, not caring if she fussed, cried, or anything that would give Mike notice that she was unhappy.

            "I don't care, I'm going to bed with or without you!" he insisted, gently moving the bassinet to against the wall next to his bed so he could still be in close range of her, but still have his own space.

            He moved away from the bassinet, kicking off his boots and removing his shirt and tossing it aside--Mike had no more shits to give as he began to undress completely before crawling into bed.

            Mike's head his the pillow, now in total comfort as his bed made him succumb to his urge to sleep when he reached out and turned off his lamp--now in total darkness as he began to drift off to sleep.

            The sound of the fan blowing in his room relaxed Mike even more as he began to doze off, imagining him and some Playboy Bunny on a Caribbean Island when the slightly sound from Grace alerted him from his dream.

            Mike waited a moment, had she just cooed? Sneezed? He wasn't sure as he listened out for another noise when it suddenly filled the room.

            Hiccup.

            Mike rolled his eyes, staring at the ceiling as he huffed "Fucking Hiccups." he muttered to himself before closing his eyes eye.

            "Night, night, Gracie." he said out loud, soon dozing off again and not to be disturbed for the rest of the night.

           


End file.
